Some days I think that life would be easier if the people around me made my schedule. The person who is my sons child care provider and my parents should get together and make my schedule so that they can have all the glory and all the annoyance that comes along with having a job. I don't know if this is something all mothers go through or just single moms, but it would appear that I can not please anyone or everyone with my work schedule and that stress is wearing on me. It seems I'm always forgetting about a class I have to teach, that conflicts with the time I my son needs to be dropped off to school, or I remember but the babysitter doesn't. Or how about that extra day I picked up to give me some extra cash while it is available to me (as in before the 1st of the year when the hair industry is eerily quiet). Talked about the day with my mother, and of course I did not use specifics because I didn't have them, but she readily agreed to watch my son. Now 5 days from my event my mother asks me what my shopping plan is for that day.
What shopping plan?
I highly dislike shopping on Black Friday. I don't have anyone to go with, its crowded, and I always have to go to the bathroom while in line and because I'm there by myself I lose my spot in line!
Of course this now brings about a whole new conversation..or should I say argument. Where I'm charged with the crime of taking advantage of my mother, on her day off, without any thought to the amount of time I needed help with my son.
I hate the phrase: You're taking advantage of me.
This is my parents key phrase lately and I'm pretty positive that they say it because they know it upsets me.
So yeah I suck. I didn't know it signed up to work from 9:15-7:30 on Black Friday. It didn't occur to me that I'd work that long on an optional demo day. It was inconsiderate of me to not check and assume that my parents would cover the day because its rude to ask anyone other than family to watch my child after a national holiday. I'll share the blame on this, my mom for not remembering what I was doing on Black Friday after our entire conversation about working, and me for not giving specifics.
Why on earth do I feel that this is the last straw?
Colossians 3:20 says: Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
I most definitely have not obeyed my parents in this, or in other things lately all of which has lead to them feeling as though I'm taking advantage of them.
Ephesians 6:4 says: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
I definitely feel as though I'm being provoked by my parents and most especially my father. If there are ever 2 peopel in my family that do not get along it is my father and I. This causes some tense situations, there has been a time when my mother has stood between us because we carried on an argument too long.
So today I went to church and sang with my choir family for the first time in a month or so. On our way into the sanctuary after the worship set i stopped to hug our Pastor. Which of course turned into a tear-fest. He can make me cry like no other and with such simple questions, "How are you?" and "How can I pray for you?"
When was the last time someone asked how they could pray for you, and you knew they meant it? You knew they might begin to pray as they walked away from you or you were added to their daily devotional time either or any way it was done, you just KNEW they called to the Lord on your behalf in prayer. It takes my breath away every time someone genuinely offers to take my problems to God. It would seem that problems iron themselves out faster when there is more than one powerful voice raising up unanswered prayers.
Thankfully the prayer that was prayed over me this morning, lifted me up enough to deal with the 'you take advantage of me' afternoon session with my parents today. I understand what they are saying, doesn't mean I have to like it, but it does mean I need to respect it.
Faith, it does not make things easy it makes them possible. Luke 1:37.
(Bible verses may pop up from time to time, most especially on Sundays. I do not know where this blog will take me, or what things I will discuss here, just know that future posts may contain verses or they may not. Thank you for your openness and willingness to understand and maybe take away some verses to reflect upon.)
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